Retreats: Not a fix, but a reset

Just on the heels of my last retreat in El Salvador…The wanderers heart…and my heart is full. My mind refreshed, and my connection to soul renewed.

We forget in the day to day that there is so much more out there. And so much more we are capable of experiencing.

The common pattern tho, is that we start to believe we are not deserving of the experience. That’s where retreats come in…when we say “yes”… no matter how scary it is…that’s the hardest part of the whole experience. Getting on that air plane and not backing out…that’s when the ego mind starts telling us we are not worthy or selfish by taking time when we could be giving it somewhere else, saving the money for something in the future, or just flat out believing that retreats are for OTHER people, not for us normal humans.

Sound like things you’ve experienced in the past? Yeah, me too. Until I went on my first, and then my second…third and fourth retreat. Every time I thought, gosh who am I to think I need this? I don’t need a week to fix me…and I heard on this retreat from someone…I don’t want to be the person that needs a retreat to fix myself.

And it stuck with me. My response, and even when it came out of me I was surprised.

It’s not a fix. It’s a reset.

We all need a reset. Even as kids we get “timeouts” when overly tired, stimulated by the world or just overwhelmed with all the crap swirling around us. So if kids get a timeout, maybe as adults we need to instill our own version of a timeout. And I believe, at my deepest part of my core, that retreats are that. The reset we didn’t know we needed until we step off the plane and all of a sudden shoulders soften, jaws stop clenching and for the first time in god knows how long we take a deep breath. That chronic pain just seems to disappear by the second day. Magic? Maybe. Or maybe we’ve just reminded our nervous system what it means to rest and be safe.

12 women joined me this time…my 14th retreat (even typing that is shocking…where did the time go?!). And the theme (because every retreat attracts its own energy) was around big life transitions and decisions. Every single one there was coming with the question of what is going on with my life and what do I need to do next? Many in that transition age of peri-menopause and realizing that life is not quiet going the way they had planned. Mid-life has set in and wanting to be/do/achieve more is starting to change. Many had never done something just for themselves (at least in the last 15-20 years) and were caretakers…and everyone of them felt guilty for being there. For about an hour.

So, you might be asking, why does it shift so quickly? Well, let’s break down what we do on retreat.

It’s a chose your own adventure most of the time. You wanna go explore? We can arrange that. You wanna rest deeply? We can arrange that. From the minute you are picked up at the airport or drive to location (if we’re local in Colorado) and you walk into your room, a sense of overwhelming rest and peace fill you. Coming with no expectation, you realize it’s yours to create. I am just there to hold the container of space so that you can do what you need to do. This retreat, we shared some really amazing experiences. And I made sure there was plenty of space for every one of them to get what they needed that day.

In our opening circle I like to remind them of 2 things. 1) This is your retreat, no-one else’s. If you don’t have capacity or energy to hold for someone else and they start telling you things, you have permission to gently say “I appreciate you…but I don’t have capacity to hold space for you right now.” And everyone needs to be OK with that. 2) If you sign up for all the things because you feel like you’ll waste your time if you don’t, you have the right to not go if you change your mind. Just those 2 things immediately change the energy. This is your space and time.

We create shared moments through our yoga practice in the morning and evenings, a community volunteer activity and throughout the day with meals, if you choose. These little moments of time bring our group together and always allow for space to come and go as you need. And I am always there to hold space if you need.